Master Pfriem was a short, thin, but lively man, who never rested a moment. His face, of which his turned-up nose was the only prominent feature, was marked with small-pox and pale as death, his hair was gray and shaggy, his eyes small, but they glanced perpetually about on all sides. He saw everything, criticised everything, knew everything best, and was always in the right. When he went into the streets, he moved his arms about as if he were rowing; and once he struck the pail of a girl, who was carrying water, so high in the air that he himself was wetted all over by it. "Stupid thing," cried he to her, while he was shaking himself, "couldst thou not see that I was coming behind thee?" By trade he was a shoemaker, and when he worked he pulled his thread out with such force that he drove his fist into every one who did not keep far enough off. No apprentice stayed more than a month with him, for he had always some fault to find with the very best work. At one time it was that the stitches were not even, at another that one shoe was too long, or one heel higher than the other, or the leather not cut large enough. "Wait," said he to his apprentice, "I will soon show thee how we make skins soft," and he brought a strap and gave him a couple of strokes across the back. He called them all sluggards. He himself did not turn much work out of his hands, for he never sat still for a quarter of an hour. If his wife got up very early in the morning and lighted the fire, he jumped out of bed, and ran bare-footed into the kitchen, crying, "Wilt thou burn my house down for me? That is a fire one could roast an ox by! Does wood cost nothing?" If the servants were standing by their wash-tubs and laughing, and telling each other all they knew, he scolded them, and said, "There stand the geese cackling, and forgetting their work, to gossip! And why fresh soap? Disgraceful extravagance and shameful idleness into the bargain! They want to save their hands, and not rub the things properly!" And out he would run and knock a pail full of soap and water over, so that the whole kitchen was flooded. Someone was building a new house, so he hurried to the window to look on. "There, they are using that red sand-stone again that never dries!" cried he. "No one will ever be healthy in that house! and just look how badly the fellows are laying the stones! Besides, the mortar is good for nothing! It ought to have gravel in it, not sand. I shall live to see that house tumble down on the people who are in it." He sat down, put a couple of stitches in, and then jumped up again, unfastened his leather-apron, and cried, "I will just go out, and appeal to those men's consciences." He stumbled on the carpenters. "What's this?" cried he, "you are not working by the line! Do you expect the beams to be straight?--one wrong will put all wrong." He snatched an axe out of a carpenter's hand and wanted to show him how he ought to cut; but as a cart loaded with clay came by, he threw the axe away, and hastened to the peasant who was walking by the side of it: "You are not in your right mind," said he, "who yokes young horses to a heavily-laden cart? The poor beasts will die on the spot." The peasant did not give him an answer, and Pfriem in a rage ran back into his workshop. When he was setting himself to work again, the apprentice reached him a shoe. "Well, what's that again?" screamed he, "Haven't I told you you ought not to cut shoes so broad? Who would buy a shoe like this, which is hardly anything else but a sole? I insist on my orders being followed exactly." Master," answered the apprentice, "you may easily be quite right about the shoe being a bad one, but it is the one which you yourself cut out, and yourself set to work at. When you jumped up a while since, you knocked it off the table, and I have only just picked it up. An angel from heaven, however, would never make you believe that."
One night Master Pfriem dreamed he was dead, and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. "I wonder," said he to himself, "that they have no knocker on the door, -- one knocks one's knuckles sore." The apostle Peter opened the door, and wanted to see who demanded admission so noisily. "Ah, it's you, Master Pfriem;" said he, "well, I'll let you in, but I warn you that you must give up that habit of yours, and find fault with nothing you see in heaven, or you may fare ill." - "You might have spared your warning," answered Pfriem. "I know already what is seemly, and here, God be thanked, everything is perfect, and there is nothing to blame as there is on earth." So he went in, and walked up and down the wide expanses of heaven. He looked around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes shook his head, or muttered something to himself. Then he saw two angels who were carrying away a beam. It was the beam which some one had had in his own eye whilst he was looking for the splinter in the eye of another. They did not, however, carry the beam lengthways, but obliquely. "Did any one ever see such a piece of stupidity?" thought Master Pfriem; but he said nothing, and seemed satisfied with it. "It comes to the same thing after all, whichever way they carry the beam, straight or crooked, if they only get along with it, and truly I do not see them knock against anything." Soon after this he saw two angels who were drawing water out of a well into a bucket, but at the same time he observed that the bucket was full of holes, and that the water was running out of it on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. "Hang it," he exclaimed; but happily recollected himself, and thought, "Perhaps it is only a pastime. If it is an amusement, then it seems they can do useless things of this kind even here in heaven, where people, as I have already noticed, do nothing but idle about." He went farther and saw a cart which had stuck fast in a deep hole. "It's no wonder," said he to the man who stood by it; "who would load so unreasonably? what have you there?" - "Good wishes," replied the man, "I could not go along the right way with it, but still I have pushed it safely up here, and they won't leave me sticking here." In fact an angel did come and harnessed two horses to it. "That's quite right," thought Pfriem, "but two horses won't get that cart out, it must at least have four to it." Another angel came and brought two more horses; she did not, however, harness them in front of it, but behind. That was too much for Master Pfriem, "Clumsy creature," he burst out with, "what are you doing there? Has any one ever since the world began seen a cart drawn in that way? But you, in your conceited arrogance, think that you know everything best." He was going to say more, but one of the inhabitants of heaven seized him by the throat and pushed him forth with irresistible strength. Beneath the gateway Master Pfriem turned his head round to take one more look at the cart, and saw that it was being raised into the air by four winged horses.
One night Master Pfriem dreamed he was dead, and on his way to heaven. When he got there, he knocked loudly at the door. "I wonder," said he to himself, "that they have no knocker on the door, -- one knocks one's knuckles sore." The apostle Peter opened the door, and wanted to see who demanded admission so noisily. "Ah, it's you, Master Pfriem;" said he, "well, I'll let you in, but I warn you that you must give up that habit of yours, and find fault with nothing you see in heaven, or you may fare ill." - "You might have spared your warning," answered Pfriem. "I know already what is seemly, and here, God be thanked, everything is perfect, and there is nothing to blame as there is on earth." So he went in, and walked up and down the wide expanses of heaven. He looked around him, to the left and to the right, but sometimes shook his head, or muttered something to himself. Then he saw two angels who were carrying away a beam. It was the beam which some one had had in his own eye whilst he was looking for the splinter in the eye of another. They did not, however, carry the beam lengthways, but obliquely. "Did any one ever see such a piece of stupidity?" thought Master Pfriem; but he said nothing, and seemed satisfied with it. "It comes to the same thing after all, whichever way they carry the beam, straight or crooked, if they only get along with it, and truly I do not see them knock against anything." Soon after this he saw two angels who were drawing water out of a well into a bucket, but at the same time he observed that the bucket was full of holes, and that the water was running out of it on every side. They were watering the earth with rain. "Hang it," he exclaimed; but happily recollected himself, and thought, "Perhaps it is only a pastime. If it is an amusement, then it seems they can do useless things of this kind even here in heaven, where people, as I have already noticed, do nothing but idle about." He went farther and saw a cart which had stuck fast in a deep hole. "It's no wonder," said he to the man who stood by it; "who would load so unreasonably? what have you there?" - "Good wishes," replied the man, "I could not go along the right way with it, but still I have pushed it safely up here, and they won't leave me sticking here." In fact an angel did come and harnessed two horses to it. "That's quite right," thought Pfriem, "but two horses won't get that cart out, it must at least have four to it." Another angel came and brought two more horses; she did not, however, harness them in front of it, but behind. That was too much for Master Pfriem, "Clumsy creature," he burst out with, "what are you doing there? Has any one ever since the world began seen a cart drawn in that way? But you, in your conceited arrogance, think that you know everything best." He was going to say more, but one of the inhabitants of heaven seized him by the throat and pushed him forth with irresistible strength. Beneath the gateway Master Pfriem turned his head round to take one more look at the cart, and saw that it was being raised into the air by four winged horses.
At this moment Master Pfriem awoke. "Things are certainly arranged in heaven otherwise than they are on earth," said he to himself, "and that excuses much; but who can see horses harnessed both behind and before with patience; to be sure they had wings, but who could know that? It is, besides, great folly to fix a pair of wings to a horse that has four legs to run with already! But I must get up, or else they will make nothing but mistakes for me in my house. It is a lucky thing for me though, that I am not really dead."
Maestro Pfriem stata una breve, sottile, ma vivace uomo, che non ha mai riposato un attimo. Il suo volto, di cui il suo naso all'insù era l'unica caratteristica di rilievo, è stato segnato con vaiolo e pallida come la morte, i suoi capelli erano grigi e arruffati, gli occhi piccoli, ma si guardò perennemente su tutti i lati. Ha visto tutto, ha criticato tutto, sapeva tutto meglio, ed era sempre nel giusto. Quando andò per le strade, muoveva le braccia come se stesse remando; e una volta che ha colpito il secchio di una ragazza, che portava l'acqua, così in alto in aria che egli stesso era bagnato tutto da esso. "Cosa stupida," gridò lui a lei, mentre lui tremava se stesso, "hai potuto non vedere che stavo arrivando dietro di te?" In commercio era un calzolaio, e quando lavorava ha tirato fuori il suo filo con tale forza che ha guidato il pugno in ogni uno che non mantengono abbastanza lontano. Non apprendista dormito più di un mese con lui, perché aveva sempre qualche colpa per trovare il migliore lavoro. Un tempo era che i punti non erano ancora, in un altro che una scarpa era troppo lungo, o un tacco più alto dell'altro, o la pelle non taglia abbastanza grande. "Aspetta," disse al suo apprendista, "Io presto ti mostrerò come facciamo pelli morbide," e ha portato una cinghia e gli diede un paio di colpi sulla schiena. Egli li chiamò tutti pigri. Egli stesso non girare molto lavoro dalle sue mani, perché mai seduto ancora per un quarto d'ora. Se sua moglie si alzò molto presto la mattina e accese il fuoco, saltò giù dal letto, e corse a piedi nudi in cucina, gridando: "Vuoi tu bruciare la mia casa per me? Questo è un fuoco si potrebbe arrostire un ox da! Fa costo legno niente? "Se i servi erano in piedi dai loro lavatoi e ridendo, e raccontando l'un l'altro tutto quello che sapevano, li sgridò, e disse: "Vi spiccano le oche schiamazzando, e dimenticando il loro lavoro, pettegolezzi! E perché fresco di sapone? Stravaganza Vergognoso e vergognoso l'ozio per giunta! vogliono salvare le loro mani, e non strofinare le cose per bene! "E fuori che sarebbe correre e battere un secchio pieno d'acqua sopra e sapone, in modo che tutta la cucina era allagata. Qualcuno stava costruendo una nuova casa, così si affrettò alla finestra a guardare. "C'è, stanno usando quel rosso sabbia pietra ancora che non si asciuga mai!" esclamò lui. "Nessuno potrà mai essere sano in quella casa! E basta guardare quanto male i compagni stanno gettando le pietre! Inoltre, la malta è un bene per niente! Dovrebbe avere ghiaia in essa, non la sabbia. Vivrò a vedere quella casa ruzzolare sulle persone che sono in esso. "Si sedette, mise un paio di punti a, e poi saltò di nuovo, slacciò la pelle grembiule, e gridò: "Voglio solo uscire e fare appello alle coscienze di quegli uomini." Inciampò sui falegnami. "Che cos'è questo?" esclamò, "non si lavora dalla linea Ti aspetti le travi di essere dritto -!?. quella sbagliata metterà tutto sbagliato" Afferrò un'ascia dalla mano di un falegname e voleva fargli vedere come avrebbe dovuto tagliare; ma come un carro carico di argilla passava, gettò l'ascia di distanza, e si affrettò al contadino che camminava a fianco di esso: "Non sei nella tua mente," disse, "che gioghi cavalli giovani ad un cart pesante-carico? le povere bestie morirà sul posto. "Il contadino non gli ha dato una risposta, e Pfriem in una rabbia tornò di corsa nel suo laboratorio. Quando stava tramontando stesso a lavorare di nuovo, l'apprendista lo raggiunse una scarpa. "Beh, che c'è di nuovo che?" urlò lui, "Non ti ho detto che non deve tagliare scarpe così grandi? Chi avrebbe comprare una scarpa come questa, che è quasi niente altro che una suola? insisto sui miei ordini seguite esattamente." - "Maestro," rispose l'apprendista, "si può facilmente essere abbastanza ragione sulla scarpa di essere uno cattivo, ma è quello che tu stesso tagliato fuori, e te impostato per lavorare a Quando sei saltato un po 'che,. butti fuori dal tavolo, e ho solo appena lo raccolse. un angelo dal cielo , tuttavia, non avrebbe mai farvi credere che."
Una notte sognò Pfriem Maestro era morto, e la sua strada verso il cielo. Quando arrivò, bussò forte alla porta. "Mi chiedo," disse a se stesso, "che non hanno battente sulla porta, - uno bussa proprie nocche doloranti." L'apostolo Pietro aprì la porta, e voleva vedere chi ha richiesto l'ammissione così rumorosamente. "Ah, sei tu, Maestro Pfriem;" ha detto, "beh, ti lascio, ma vi avverto che devi rinunciare a quella abitudine di tuo, e trovare da ridire su nulla che si vede in cielo, oppure si può passeranno male." - "Si potrebbe avere risparmiato il tuo avvertimento," rispose Pfriem. "So già che cosa è decoroso, e qui, grazie a Dio, tutto è perfetto, e non c'è nulla da biasimare in quanto vi è sulla terra." Così andò in, e camminava su e giù per le ampie distese del cielo. Si guardò intorno, a sinistra ea destra, ma a volte scosse la testa, o borbottò qualcosa a se stesso. Poi vide due angeli che portavano via un fascio. E 'stata la trave che qualcuno aveva avuto nel suo occhio mentre stava cercando la pagliuzza nell'occhio di un altro. Non hanno, invece, portano la trave longitudinale, ma obliquamente. "Forse qualcuno mai visto un tale pezzo di stupidità?" pensò Maestro Pfriem; ma non disse nulla, e sembrava soddisfatto. "Si tratta della stessa cosa, dopo tutto, in qualunque modo portano il fascio, dritto o storto, se solo andare d'accordo con esso, e veramente non vedo li bussare contro qualsiasi cosa."
Poco dopo vide due angeli che stavano attingere acqua da un pozzo in un secchio, ma allo stesso tempo ha osservato che il secchio era pieno di buchi, e che l'acqua era in esecuzione fuori di esso su ogni lato. Erano irrigato la terra con la pioggia. "Appendere," esclamò; ma fortunatamente se stesso raccoglimento, e pensò: "Forse è solo un passatempo. Se si tratta di un divertimento, allora sembra che possano fare cose inutili di questo genere anche qui in paradiso, dove la gente, come ho già notato, non fanno altro che oziare. "Andò oltre e vide un carro che si era bloccato veloce in un buco profondo. "Non c'è da meravigliarsi," disse l'uomo che stava da esso; "chi sarebbe caricare così irragionevole? quello che hai lì?" - "Auguri," rispose l'uomo, "non potevo andare avanti nel modo giusto con esso, ma ho ancora spinto in modo sicuro qui, e non mi lascerò attaccare qui." In realtà un angelo è venuto e sfruttata due cavalli ad esso. "E 'giusto," pensò Pfriem, "ma due cavalli non otterrà quel carro fuori, deve avere almeno quattro ad essa." Un altro angelo venne e portò altri due cavalli; lei non ha, però, li sfruttare di fronte ad essa, ma dietro. Questo era troppo per il Master Pfriem, "creatura Clumsy," ha scoppiare fuori con, "che cosa stai facendo lì? Ha una qualsiasi mai dal principio del mondo vede un carro trainato in quel modo? Ma voi, nella vostra arroganza presuntuosa, pensare che tu sai tutto meglio. "Stava per dire di più, ma uno degli abitanti del cielo lo afferrò per la gola e lo spinse via con forza irresistibile. Sotto il Maestro porta Pfriem girò la testa rotonda di prendere un altro sguardo al carrello, e vide che veniva sollevato in aria da quattro cavalli alati.
In questo momento il Maestro Pfriem si svegliò. "Le cose sono certamente disposti in cielo altrimenti quello che sono sulla terra," si disse, "e che scusa tanto, ma chi può vedere i cavalli bardati, sia dietro e davanti con pazienza, per essere sicuri che avevano le ali, ma che potevano sapere che? è, inoltre, grande follia di fissare un paio di ali di un cavallo che ha quattro gambe per correre con già! ma devo alzarmi, altrimenti non farà altro che scambia per me a casa mia. si tratta di una cosa fortunata per me però, che io non sono morto davvero."